I am back!  This blog is back in business!

For some reason, there was a problem with my blog, like it would go to an error
message everytime i logged on.  But by some amazing feat, it's back in working order!

So i've been in school for what?  Almost 5 months now.  Being a student is just great!  Seriously, the workload is shit, no breaks and competitive people all around.  But i swear, you're never too old to learn something new.  Being a student again sorta opened my eyes to how important studying is.  So yeah, i am not the slacker i was in uni.  In fact i have become kinda geeky,  But it's cool!  I have learnt so many things, i know my english has improved, i know a bit more about psychology and history.

Besides school, things are good.  Am on a pretty good terms with the folks.  I have met a really awesome guy that's had such an impact on my life,  And i am happy.
For now. hahah!

If you think you might have low self-esteem, try talking to an adult you trust about it. He or she may be able to help you come up with some good ideas for building your self-esteem.

In the meantime, here are a few things that you can try to increase your self-esteem:

• Make a list of the stuff you're good at. It can be anything from drawing or singing to playing a sport or telling a good joke. If you're having trouble with your list, ask your mom or dad to help you with it. Then add a few things to the list that you'd like to be good at. Your mom or dad can help you plan a way to work on those skills or talents.
• Give yourself three compliments every day. Don't just say, "I'm so great." Be specific about something good about yourself, like, "I was a good friend to Jill today" or "I did better on that test than I thought I would." While you're at it, before you go to bed every night, list three things in your day that really made you happy.
• Remember that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or color it is. If you are worried about your weight or size, you can check with your doctor to make sure that things are OK. Remind yourself of things about your body that are cool, like, "My legs are strong and I can skate really well."
• Remember that there are things about yourself you can't change. You should accept and love these things — such as skin color and shoe size — because they are part of you.
• When you hear negative comments in your head, tell yourself to stop. When you do this, you take the power away from the voice inside that discourages you.

By focusing on the good things you do and all your great qualities, you learn to love and accept yourself — the main ingredients for strong self-esteem! Even if you've got room for improvement (and who doesn't?), realizing that you're valuable and important helps your self-esteem to shine.

Exams are over, done with marking and school's out!  Yipee!!
I think i got a good deal starting work in August, had to teach a few classes, mark some scripts, invigelate a few papers and guess what, it's the holidays!  Of course it's not gonna be so smooth sailing when i'm a trained teacher but hey, while the grass in greener on my side of the pasture, why not enjoy it? 

Have done a few uncharacteristic things recently. 

1)  Went to the Zoo with XW and Viv.  It was so fun!  Besides getting some sun, it was so cool looking at the animals, like the lions being fed, phytons banging their heads against the glass casing, turtles humping, kids trying to pickup butterflies and yummy Ben and Jerry's ice cream at the end.   

2)  Went jogging at the ECP.  I used to love jogging so much when i was in Secondary school.  But the busted ankle put a stop to that.  So when Des asked if i wanted to go jogging, i was thinking of a way to get out of saying yes.  But eventually i just went along and it was so worth it.  You know when you're jogging and you feel like you can't carry on anymore but you keep pushing yourself and finally when you reach the end point you realised you've jogging more than you thought you could, that's an awesome feeling!

I guess you don't have to travel half way around the world to sightsee and have fun.  Sometimes, you can find it simply in your own backyard.  And of course, good and treasured company makes all the difference too!

How time flies!  It's Hari Raya.  We've just gone through a month of fasting.
Fasting month was a good month for me this year.  As compared to the past few years, this is one of the best fasting month i've had.  I think having regular working hours helped too, cause i have to wake up in the morning and i sleep early at night and i don't go out much.  Thank you God.

Sadly, I don't feel excited about Hari Raya anymore.  For that matter even Chinese New Year no longer excites me that much.  I used to love these festive occassions.  It meant being so excited on the eve of the occassion you can't sleep at night and you just can't wait to get up and out of bed the next day cause you had new clothes, visiting relatives and pigging out on the snacks.  I still love meeting up with the relatives and i still love eating all the goodies, but the feeling's just not the same anymore.  It just feels like any other day now.  Perhaps it's just me growing older.  But it's quite sad really.  I feel like i've lost something important without realising it and i don't even know how to get it back.  I am thankful i am around though.  Not being in Singapore during Hari Raya the past few years was quite a bummer.

I caught up with a few of my cousins after dinner today.  It was good to just relax and chat and update each other on what's happening in each other's lives.  It's just bugging me a little what one of my cousins talked about though.  She seemed to see marriage as her way out of her "problems",  She feels that if she marries, her husband will be able to provide for her and give her all the things that she can't have and for that reason she's very keen on meeting guys that are willing to offer her a ring and go ahead with things, even if she doesn't know the guy well enough.  I'm worried cause i don't wanna see her stuck in a situation where she's mistreated or misled.  I can see she really wants to get married and i'm sure guys will be able to catch on easily too and if some cunning bastard leads her on and dangles the carrot just so he gets a free ride, she'll be played big time and she'll just come out hurt.  And i can see it's already happening by the stories she told about the guys she was seeing.  I don't know how to tell her tactfully about how i fears and what i think will happen.  I don't wanna be the cynical jaded relative that kills dreams.   

Ok, i wanna write more, have so much say about school and the kids, but it's way past bedtime.  Till my next post.

So so, first week of school just went by.

It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be but neither was it a walk in the park.
Firstly, i'm getting less then 5 hours of sleep on school days.  It's fasting month so i have to wake up early to eat and then there's no point going back to sleep after that.  By the time it's 1 in the afternoon i'm a semi-zombie.  My head is so damn light, my eye lids so heavy it's amazing how i actually continue to sit at my desk and do work (which of course i realise i am not productive at all in such a state cause i had to re-do so much of the work over the weekend).

The start of school also signalled the start of national service for my brother.  It was a lil distressing just thinking about not having him around, but it was a comfort finding out that he could book out every Friday.  Today was the 2nd time seeing him prepare to go to camp.  Just before leaving, I saw the feeling of dread that overcame him which put him in a really bad mood and it didn't help that he had to make sure he'd taken everything.  Well....it's not easy but i guess in the end, he will be able to chalk this all down to life experiences.

So so, life is cool.  It's all about the experiences.  You make life livable by ejoying the minute details of everyday life.  Cause when you just rush through life, it becomes a blur and you somehow feel life becomes pretty boring and meaningless.  A philosophical moment there to end the post. :)

One month.
Being the lady of leisure.

Now that one month is up and i will be starting school next Monday.
I'm a worrier.  A person who hardly knows me can tell within an instant that i'm a worrier.  So yes, i'm freaking out big time now.  I suddenly feel like i have too much on my plate.  But i guess it's just nerves.  Had a meet up with a future colleague, she was nice took me around, told me what to expect, reserved a table in the staff room for me and of course gave me work to do.  haha!  So yeah that's work. :)

Over this one month, i've had the opportunity to renew and strengthen my existing friendship with my lovely friends.  It's only now being back on ground that i realised how much i've lost touch with my friends.  We might meet up when i was flying but it was just different, like there was this invincible barrier.  But it's starting to feel just like the old days now, being around all the time and me putting in the effort to come out and meet up, my friendship is recovering to full health.  And we even have a new inclusion to our group.  So yes, all rosy and good on the friendship front. :)

Love life?  Never say never.  Cause whatever you said never to could become a possibility.  Yup...not much else to update here.

*SMILE*