How time flies! It's Hari Raya. We've just gone through a month of fasting.
Fasting month was a good month for me this year. As compared to the past few years, this is one of the best fasting month i've had. I think having regular working hours helped too, cause i have to wake up in the morning and i sleep early at night and i don't go out much. Thank you God.
Sadly, I don't feel excited about Hari Raya anymore. For that matter even Chinese New Year no longer excites me that much. I used to love these festive occassions. It meant being so excited on the eve of the occassion you can't sleep at night and you just can't wait to get up and out of bed the next day cause you had new clothes, visiting relatives and pigging out on the snacks. I still love meeting up with the relatives and i still love eating all the goodies, but the feeling's just not the same anymore. It just feels like any other day now. Perhaps it's just me growing older. But it's quite sad really. I feel like i've lost something important without realising it and i don't even know how to get it back. I am thankful i am around though. Not being in Singapore during Hari Raya the past few years was quite a bummer.
I caught up with a few of my cousins after dinner today. It was good to just relax and chat and update each other on what's happening in each other's lives. It's just bugging me a little what one of my cousins talked about though. She seemed to see marriage as her way out of her "problems", She feels that if she marries, her husband will be able to provide for her and give her all the things that she can't have and for that reason she's very keen on meeting guys that are willing to offer her a ring and go ahead with things, even if she doesn't know the guy well enough. I'm worried cause i don't wanna see her stuck in a situation where she's mistreated or misled. I can see she really wants to get married and i'm sure guys will be able to catch on easily too and if some cunning bastard leads her on and dangles the carrot just so he gets a free ride, she'll be played big time and she'll just come out hurt. And i can see it's already happening by the stories she told about the guys she was seeing. I don't know how to tell her tactfully about how i fears and what i think will happen. I don't wanna be the cynical jaded relative that kills dreams.
Ok, i wanna write more, have so much say about school and the kids, but it's way past bedtime. Till my next post.
Posted at 01:07 am by Cocoa La'Duke
